“Withholding Forgiveness ~
Is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” ~Barbara Leger
©Photo courtesy of Joseph S. Mack
When I hear someone say, “I will never forgive….” There is instant sadness that moves through me.
Yes, a lot happens in our personal lives, and the world constantly challenges us to forgive.
Speaking at my son’s funeral while looking at the young man sitting in the pew, who supplied him with drugs that enhanced the whirlwind of his mental illness, was more than difficult.
Reading about and seeing the horrific scenes of this world and in our hometowns has me, at times, clenching my fists out of frustration because there was and is nothing I can do to turn back the hands of time to change what has already happened.
Oh, I get it. Believe me. The human heart and every cell in our bodies shake with anger, disbelief, and tears that could flood the world into nonexistence.
And yet, here we are.
We wake up the following day, and the sun shines, rain falls, snow sparkles, and ocean waves slowly dissolve into the shore. We hear the birds, smell the fresh aroma of coffee, or feel the warmth of a cup of tea as it moves through our senses.
It is a new day.
What will go on in the world today?
Maybe we will hear about a couple who had tried to have a baby for years and just found out they were pregnant with twins.
Or someone raising money on GoFundMe for the children in his hometown who did not have enough to eat and clothes to wear and then had an accident that put him in a coma, which made the news. When he awoke, he found that people had given over a million dollars to his cause. And he wanted to pay it forward.
Or someone who has been intensely challenged with alcoholism and was, because of their courage, able to conquer through it with the wisdom to teach others how to do the same.
And maybe, just maybe, as we were preparing for bed, the phone rang from someone who had scarred our hearts many times over, asking for genuine, authentic forgiveness that we thought would never, in a thousand years, happen.
And our hearts began to heal.
💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
Withholding forgiveness takes the essence of what we have to offer ourselves and the world away. When we forgive, space opens and shows us where to make a difference, bringing our best to our backyards and communities. Maybe we cannot change what is not ours to change, but we can take our positive energy and spread it to all who call to us.
Yes, we can sit in anger and explain why we won’t forgive, but as we do so, our bodies begin to wither. The lips turn downward and stick; the body walks with a heaviness that hangs on us like a ball and chain. Our eyes lose their Light and creative life, and the world seems more than dark. I have seen and experienced this myself.
And yet, here I am.
The good, the holy, and the beautiful live within each of us. When terrible things happen, I believe it is because, for whatever reason, those who treat others in this way have blocked their goodness, consciously or unconsciously. We would have to walk in their shoes from the time of their birth to understand why this was. It is not for us to figure out why or make assumptions, because only they know.
Does this mean, though, that we are meant to join in or judge?
When we choose not to forgive, we drink the poison, slowly destroying our ability to connect with our true nature. And those who look to us for comfort, reassurance, positivity, and genuine love — will lose.
Is this worth it?
I’ve asked myself this many times, and each time, the beautiful part of me rises, and the Light I feel brings the answer. “No,” And I quietly smile.
And here I am.
And you who are reading this are here too.
How will we choose to live today, just for today, to make a positive difference?
Often, we won’t know whose hearts we have touched or the heavy blanket we’ve uncovered that blocks the love in them. However, Spirit knows, and Its Light will do the work to change the world through you and me.
Allow, trust, and surrender to the truth of who you are and change us.
Since I have been on this journey of writing and sharing my stories, I have heard from many who have shared how they bring positivity to this world. I can tell you honestly, because of these stories, poems, artwork, breathtaking photos, and humor, I am NOT the person I was a year ago. Yet, the strength, courage, and beauty you have generously shared through your experiences could build a staircase to the moon and beyond.
Our stories speak volumes about the trials and difficulties we have faced.
Some beginning at a very young age because of the lack of guidance from those who, for whatever reason, were unable to help balance us as we grew.
But from sharing what you’ve been through and the incredible growth you've undergone, we've seen that there is indeed immense strength, along with courage, that lives within each of us.
And, when we dare to look in the mirror and see the heart and the worthiness that calls us back to who we truly are, we change. Our stories are filled with triumphs and lessons of wisdom that can bring us to look deeply into our hearts for that change, forgiveness, and the will to make a difference.
I dedicate this story to all of you for the courage you carry to live on this Earth with the desire to live in and as the presence of Love. I am in beautiful company and wouldn’t change it for the world. Thank you.🦋
Thought to Ponder:
Where in your life is forgiveness quietly waiting to set you free?🕊️
Taken by the Author. Nature decorates our world with
profound Love around every corner of our lives.
©2026 Terry Pottinger