Becoming Home

Coming home to yourself means reconnecting with your authentic self, embracing your imperfections, and finding peace within.

Courtesy of EvaMichalkova on pixabay.com

When we moved to Pennsylvania, everything felt unfamiliar, which is normal. So, I stepped into the discomfort and got part-time work in an after-school program, where I enjoyed the children and met kind people. However, after six months, I still didn’t quite feel like I belonged. So, I took one day at a time and kept a journal of the positive things that lifted my spirit.

My husband was retiring from the military, and we soon moved again—this time to Ohio, where his mother and sister lived. His sister was eight years younger than I, was still raising her children, and had her group of friends. His mother was not well, and I was there for her, but the struggle to find my place was difficult; I was either too old or too new. It felt like I was standing in someone else’s story.

Then something shifted.

My husband traveled a lot in his new job and always invited me to go with him, but I didn’t desire to travel at that time. Instead, I took a part-time job at a Hallmark store close to us and loved it. The interaction with co-workers and customers brought back my mojo, my spark. One day, as I was walking down a Target aisle, an older woman, looking at picture frames, asked me for my thoughts on which I liked best, and we ended up sitting on the floor talking for almost an hour until an employee came over and asked if we were okay. We looked at each other, then at our watches, and started laughing. After I helped her up, we made plans to go to lunch the following week, and that began a friendship that has continued to this day.

I started to fit quite nicely into my own identity, and the freedom to pick and choose friendships was novel because I had never really had to do that before. An odd thing began to happen: I realized I was starting to find something powerful in me —a sense of home within myself.

That seed grew when we moved to a quiet, lakeside house in Virginia a few years later. There, I walked through the woods, kayaked solo through morning fog, practiced yoga, took cooking classes, and worked at a small library nestled among the trees. I made new friends. I played Mahjong. I read. I healed.

Now, when my husband asked me to join him on his travels, at times, I did. While he worked, I would venture out on my own and explore, and always came back with stories. It was as if I were seeing the world with new, fresh eyes, and it excited me.

And then one day, I truly saw myself.

Thanks to a workbook gifted to me by my sister-in-law—The Artist’s Way — by Julia Cameron. It was a life-changing book for me. It gave me the creative and spiritual opportunity to explore my past, forgive myself and others, and even take myself on solo “dates” that filled me with joy. I stopped being everyone else’s “go-to person” and became my own.

I discovered that loving myself first didn’t make me selfish—it made me whole. For the first time, I realized that home wasn’t a zip code. It was me.

From there, we moved to Arlington, VA, where the energy of the city brought new rhythms—sunrises on the 14th floor, walks through coffee-scented streets, and evenings watching fireworks from our balcony. Later, Virginia Beach offered peace and friendship in a 55+ community. And now, in South Carolina, we’ve built our home by the woods.

But the most significant changes happened inside me.

Over the last 25 years and all these homes, I’ve learned this: when you create peace within, the world becomes your home. Whether in a condo, a cottage, or a quiet lake house, home travels with you—in your heart, in your healing, and in your hope.

Just like that snail, we carry it on our backs. And when we finally learn to love ourselves fully, that’s when we open the door and realize…we’re already home.🦋

Thought to Ponder:

How do you define home?

© 2025 Terry Pottinger

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